Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’m not living up to the standards I know I should. I’m not in a bad place, but I’m far from where I want to be. My temper, stress, and other factors have been holding me back. I keep telling myself that I’m managing, but deep down, I know I shouldn’t be content with just getting by. I need to make changes internally to become a better father, husband, brother, and man.
Struggling to Meet My Own Standards
There’s a constant weight I carry, knowing I’m not quite where I want to be. I’m functioning, but I know I have the potential to be better. This awareness can be both a blessing and a burden. It shows I’m not complacent and that I have aspirations, but it also fuels frustration and self-doubt.
Admitting that I’m falling short isn’t easy. Sometimes, it feels like I’m stuck in a cycle of knowing what I need to do but struggling to actually do it. I’m often overwhelmed, feeling like I’m juggling too much and constantly worried about dropping the ball. The pressure can be intense, and it’s hard to see a clear path forward.
The Role of Faith in My Journey
My faith is something I lean on heavily, but even that feels shaky sometimes. I pray and meditate on God’s word, seeking guidance and strength. But there are days when my prayers feel empty, and I wonder if God is listening. Verses like Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me,” and Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope,” are comforting, yet I struggle to feel their truth in my daily life.
I wish God would just fix me, but I know that’s not how it works. It’s up to me to put in the daily, hourly, even minute-by-minute effort to become the man I want to be. The battle is constant, and it’s exhausting.
The Daily Battle
Living up to my own standards is a daily struggle. It’s not just about the big moments of failure or success but the countless small decisions I make every day. I find myself more susceptible to temptation when I’m not in a good place mentally or spiritually. Stress, anger, and laziness creep in, making it harder to stay on track. Integrity feels like a constant test, and I often feel like I’m failing.
I wonder how many other men feel like me—knowing what they should be doing but falling short. It’s a battle against complacency, and it’s one that many of us face. We want to grow, to be strong, but it’s hard. It’s a struggle every minute of every day.
I know I need to be better. I need to manage my stress, control my temper, and act with integrity. But knowing and doing are two very different things. The gap between my aspirations and my actions often feels insurmountable.
Vulnerability and the Journey Ahead
I’m not looking for easy answers because I know they don’t exist. What I need, and what I think many men need, is the strength to keep fighting. To not give in to the easier path of complacency. To acknowledge our shortcomings without letting them define us.
It’s a journey that requires constant effort and a willingness to be vulnerable. Admitting that I’m not where I want to be is the first step, but it’s just that—a step. The path ahead is long, and I know it will be filled with challenges.
But I’m committed to this journey. I want to be a better man, not just for myself but for my family and those around me. I want to look back and see growth, even if it’s slow and painful. I want to break the cycle of falling short and finally live up to the standards I’ve set for myself.
I know I’m not alone in this struggle. There are many of us who are fighting the same battles, dealing with the same frustrations. We need to support each other, share our struggles, and remind ourselves that we’re not in this alone.
The journey is tough, but it’s one worth taking. Together, we can strive to be better, even when it feels impossible. It’s about making the daily choice to fight for the man we want to be, even when every part of us wants to give up.
I want to share something that has deeply impacted me and I believe it has the potential to do the same for you. It’s a sermon by Dr. Tony Evans, titled “The Call to Biblical Manhood.” This isn’t just another message; it’s a profound call to action for all of us men striving to live out our faith.
In our journey through life, it’s too common for us as men to lose sight of our true purpose, the higher calling that God has placed upon us. We often get caught up in the daily grind, forgetting the larger picture that’s painted for us in the scriptures. Dr. Tony Evans’ sermon is a powerful reminder of this bigger picture. He delves into the essence of what it means to be a man under God’s rule. It’s not just about fulfilling societal roles or following cultural norms. It’s about understanding and stepping into the divine purpose that God has uniquely crafted for each of us. Just as God chose Abraham for a special purpose, He has chosen each one of us to play a significant role in His grand design.
This message is a wake-up call to all of us. It’s an invitation to look beyond our immediate surroundings and to see the greater plan that God has for our lives. Dr. Evans eloquently unfolds the essence of true manhood as defined by biblical standards, and it’s an eye-opener.I encourage you to take some time to listen to this sermon. Reflect on its message and consider how it applies to your life. As we strive to grow in our faith and as men of God, let’s support each other in this journey. This sermon could be the catalyst for a profound transformation in your life, just as it was in mine.
Let’s embrace our calling with courage and conviction, fellows. Remember, we’re not just living for today; we’re building a legacy for tomorrow under God’s guidance.
Stay strong and stay blessed!
Dr. Tony Evans is a renowned Christian pastor, speaker, and author, widely recognized for his impactful teachings and powerful sermons. As the senior pastor of Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas, Texas, he has nurtured a vibrant community through his dynamic and insightful interpretation of the Scriptures. Dr. Evans is also the founder and president of The Urban Alternative, a national ministry dedicated to restoring hope and transforming lives through the proclamation and application of the Word of God. His unique ability to connect deep spiritual truths with practical real-world application has made him a respected and influential figure in the Christian community. His extensive work includes numerous books, broadcasts, and a strong presence in both religious and secular media, emphasizing a life led by faith and rooted in biblical principles.
Inspired by “How to be a Man” by Dax feat. Darius Rucker
I find myself living in a world that’s teetering on the edge. There’s chaos in every headline—economic downturns, global unrest, and wars brewing on the horizon. But that external noise often drowns out the personal chaos many of us are wrestling with inside our own four walls. I feel this deeply. My role as the sole provider has never been more daunting, particularly as my wife has taken on the full-time job of raising our children. It’s a role I’m grateful she can fill, but it does add to the weight I’m carrying. And like many of you know, my mom’s been fighting cancer. I wouldn’t be anywhere else but here to support her, but the emotional and spiritual toll is real.
You know that feeling when you’re screaming inside but can’t let it out? Like you’re afraid to add your troubles to someone else’s plate? So you internalize it. That weight becomes a silent scream, heavy enough to crush your spirit but silent enough to go unnoticed.
This is when I lean on God. For me, God isn’t a far-off concept; He’s a real, tangible source of strength. When I’m grappling with the fear and uncertainty that life throws my way, my faith provides solace. It’s not just about knowing God is there; it’s about feeling His presence, especially in those moments when everything else feels unstable.
But let’s make something clear: faith isn’t a solitary journey. I believe in the power of community, of brotherhood. While it’s true we men often feel we have to go it alone, the truth is, we’re stronger together. We have to share our struggles, lend a shoulder, and sometimes even be the shoulder to lean on. It’s not just for our benefit, but for our children, too. I want my sons to grow up understanding that their dad could weather the storm because he wasn’t too proud to seek help, both divine and earthly.
I want them to see that their dad relied on a strong community and an even stronger God to get through the trials life invariably throws our way. The road might be rocky, but if we keep our feet steady and our hearts open, we can navigate through anything. We don’t have to be islands, silently suffering while life’s storms rage around us. We can be anchors for each other, rooted in faith and fortified by brotherhood.
Let’s face it – pornography is everywhere these days, and it’s wreaking havoc on minds and lives. It’s not just a casual topic to brush aside; it’s a storm tearing through our society, leaving shattered relationships, broken self-esteem, and twisted perceptions in its wake. Think it doesn’t affect you? Think again. The hard truth is that pornography isn’t just a “personal choice” without consequences. It can enslave the mind, crush the spirit, and undermine the very fabric of our integrity and values. But we’re not here to dance around the issue; we’re here to face it head-on. Ready to dive into the gritty facts and find a way to healing? Buckle up, because we’re taking a no-nonsense look at what pornography really does and how to break free from its grip.
The Effects of Pornography on the Mind
1. Altered Brain Structure
Studies have shown that viewing pornography can lead to changes in the brain, much like substance addiction. It can alter the reward pathways, making them more sensitive to pornographic stimuli and less responsive to other rewards.
2. Impact on Relationships
The unrealistic portrayals in pornography can lead to skewed expectations in relationships. It may foster dissatisfaction, mistrust, and even cause breakdowns in communication.
3. Emotional Disturbances
Research has linked excessive consumption of pornography to anxiety, depression, and reduced self-esteem. It creates a vicious cycle where one turns to pornography for temporary relief, only to face a deeper emotional toll later on.
Pornography Addiction
Like other addictions, pornography addiction traps individuals in a cycle of dependency and despair. Here’s how it works:
1. Escalation
A person might start with softcore material, but over time, they require more explicit content to achieve the same arousal. This escalation can lead to consuming material that goes against one’s values and beliefs.
2. Withdrawal
Attempts to quit can lead to withdrawal symptoms such as irritability, restlessness, and anxiety.
3. Impact on Daily Life
Addiction to pornography can affect work, relationships, and personal growth. It diverts time and energy away from meaningful pursuits and can lead to a loss of control over one’s life.
Finding Healing
Healing from pornography addiction may seem challenging, but with determination and the right support, it is possible. Here’s a path to recovery:
1. Acknowledgment – Accept that there’s a problem and commit to making a change.
2. Seek Professional Help – Therapists specialized in addiction can provide guidance and support tailored to individual needs.
3. Build a Support System – Friends, family, and faith communities can be a strong network to lean on during recovery.
4. Focus on Growth and Values – Concentrate on personal development and the values that resonate most with you. These principles, rooted in faith, integrity, and brotherhood, can serve as a guide towards a purpose-driven life, free from addiction.
Conclusion
Pornography’s grip on the mind is real, but so is the possibility of healing. By understanding the scientific facts, recognizing the signs of addiction, and pursuing a path of recovery guided by growth and values, individuals can reclaim control over their lives. The mission may seem impossible to some, but with determination and support, healing is within reach.
Life is a constant balancing act, especially when it comes to embodying the Christian values of manhood. One moment, we are called to be bold and fierce like a lion, and the next, we are required to display the humble, sacrificial spirit of a lamb. Such is the nature of life’s dualities, and such is the symbolic depth of the Bible.
In the Bible, the lion and the lamb are recurring metaphors used to portray the complex nature of God and His relationship with His people. These two seemingly opposing figures represent dual aspects that, when taken together, form a holistic and balanced perspective on Christian manhood. Let’s delve into the biblical basis of these symbols, and understand their profound implications for us, modern-day men.
The Lion – King of the Jungle and of Judah:
The lion, referred to as the “King of the Jungle,” represents strength, courage, authority, and justice. In the Bible, the lion symbolizes God’s power and majesty. Revelation 5:5 refers to Jesus as the “Lion of the Tribe of Judah,” emphasizing His royal authority and victorious nature. For men striving to align themselves with the lion’s characteristics, the challenge lies in exercising power with wisdom, leading with justice, and standing against the wrong with unflinching courage.
The Lamb – Symbol of Sacrifice and Servanthood:
On the flip side, the lamb symbolizes gentleness, humility, and sacrifice. It stands for the submissive and sacrificial nature of Christ. In John 1:29, John the Baptist refers to Jesus as the “Lamb of God,” who takes away the sin of the world. The lamb symbol encourages men to embody humility, show mercy, serve others selflessly, and even make personal sacrifices for the greater good.
Balancing the Lion and the Lamb:
The coexistence of the lion and the lamb within us reflects the divine balance that the Bible teaches. It teaches us to be strong yet humble, assertive yet compassionate, powerful yet understanding. We, as men, are called upon to be strong and protective lions for our families and communities while also being the gentle and sacrificial lambs that walk in humility and servitude. This delicate balance can be challenging to maintain, but it’s not impossible. It requires continuous self-awareness, self-examination, and an unwavering commitment to personal growth.
The Lion-Lamb Challenge: Embodying Dual Roles for Authentic Manhood
Navigating the journey of manhood isn’t a solitary endeavor or a path tread once. It is a continuous process of evolution and growth. But how can we ensure that we are moving in the right direction? How can we ensure that we are manifesting both the lion’s strength and leadership and the lamb’s humility and sacrifice in our lives? Here’s the challenge.
Self-Reflection: Begin by taking stock of your current mindset and behaviors. Are you more inclined towards the lion or the lamb? Are there areas where you’ve been too dominant, forgetting to show humility? Or perhaps, you’ve been too passive, neglecting to stand up when needed? Identify these areas and acknowledge where there’s room for balance.
Embrace the Opposite: After recognizing the imbalances, aim to embrace the opposite role in those specific areas. If you’ve been overly assertive, strive to bring in more humility and understanding. If you’ve been excessively passive, it’s time to harness the courage of the lion within.
Mindful Practice: Each day, intentionally practice these behaviors in your interactions. Consciously decide to listen more, to be more patient, to stand up for what is right, to serve others. Remember, change is a process that happens one step at a time.
Seek Feedback: Don’t hesitate to seek feedback from those around you. Ask your loved ones, friends, colleagues about the changes they notice, areas where they believe you could do better. Feedback is an essential tool for growth.
Continuous Improvement: The journey doesn’t end when you see improvement. The aim is to continually balance the lion and lamb within, adjusting your behaviors according to situations, always striving to reflect Christ in your manhood.
This challenge may sound demanding, and in truth, it is. It requires dedication, consistency, and often, stepping out of your comfort zone. But the rewards it brings are immeasurable. It paves the path towards becoming an authentic man – a man of strength and humility, courage and sacrifice, leadership and followership.
In this quest, let us remember the words of Jesus in John 10:27-28, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one will snatch them out of my hand.” May we, as men striving for Christ-like masculinity, heed His voice, embody His attributes, and secure our place in His eternal fold.
Into the Battlefield: Acknowledging the Goliaths of Life
Every man knows, deep within his heart, that he’s born into a world filled with battles. Whether they be physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional, these are the giants that tower over us, intimidating and challenging our resolve. Just as young David faced his colossal opponent Goliath, we too face our own giants. But the true lesson in David’s story isn’t simply one of triumph over enemies. It’s a testament to the power of showing up, the courage it takes to stand firm, and the faith needed to throw the stone.
David was not a warrior. He was a shepherd, the youngest of eight sons. When King Saul and his armies were paralyzed by Goliath’s challenge, it was David who stepped forward. His brothers mocked him, and even Saul doubted his abilities. Yet David had something that the others lacked – an unwavering faith in God and a courage that stemmed not from his physical strength, but from his steadfast spirit.
Facing Your Giants: Harnessing the Spirit of David
Facing your giants requires you to harness the spirit of David. It calls for three essential elements: Faith, Courage, and Action.
Faith: David had unshaken faith in God. He had seen His works while tending the sheep, protecting them from lions and bears. His faith didn’t waver when he saw Goliath. It’s easy to believe when the seas are calm, but faith is tested and proven in the storms. Your faith, your belief in something greater than yourself, is what will enable you to stand up to your giants.
Courage: Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s taking action despite it. David knew the danger Goliath posed. He knew the strength of the giant, but he also knew the strength of his God. Courage is about taking the first step, showing up on the battlefield even when the odds are stacked against you.
Action: Faith and courage must be followed by action. David didn’t just talk about defeating Goliath; he stepped onto the battlefield and threw his stone. It’s not enough to merely face our giants; we must actively strive to overcome them. And that requires the courage to act, to take risks, and to do what’s necessary even when it’s hard.
Beyond the Battlefield: Living a Life of Courageous Faith
Winning against your giants isn’t the end. Each victory strengthens us for the next battle. As you conquer each giant, remember the lessons learned, the faith you held, the courage you exhibited, and the actions you took. These will serve as your stones of remembrance, your testimonies of victories past and the fuel for victories to come.
As modern men, we may not face physical giants like Goliath, but we face giants nonetheless. Giants of fear, doubt, failure, or addiction. Giants that tell us we’re not enough, that we can’t make a difference, that it’s safer not to try. But just as David conquered Goliath, we too can conquer our giants. Not by our strength, but by the power of faith, courage, and action.
You are not alone on this battlefield. You are backed by the same God who guided David’s stone. So show up, stand firm, and let your stone fly. The battlefield is waiting. Will you answer the call?
Danny Eley is a passionate author, humanitarian, and family man who lives in Orange County, California. He is married to his beautiful wife Nimi Adokiye, and together they have two sons: Daniel and Titus. As the President and Founder of ATAP Family Services, a non-profit 501c3 organization, Danny works tirelessly to alleviate poverty for youth, families, and seniors living in low-income housing. With over 20 years of experience in youth development, Danny has dedicated his life to serving others and making a positive impact in the world.
In addition to his humanitarian work, Danny is also deeply involved in his community and his faith. He has spent many years serving in youth ministry and college ministry and has traveled extensively through mission and humanitarian projects to make a difference in the lives of others. When he's not busy changing the world, Danny loves spending time with his family, playing video games with his brothers, making TikTok videos with his wife, and sharing story time with his children. He also enjoys outdoor activities like hiking, basketball, and swimming.
Originally from Springfield, Oregon, Danny has always known that he has a great purpose in life. He is committed to using his talents and abilities to entertain, educate, and inspire others, and to make a lasting impact in the world. With his hard-working spirit, his love for people, and his unwavering commitment to his faith, Danny is a true force for good and a shining example of what it means to live a life of purpose and service.
In 2017 he created 'Becoming a Man', because he saw that many men were losing touch with their strength and courage. His goal is to help men rediscover this while also learning to adapt to today's world. He wants to show that facing problems with honesty and respect is an important part of being a man. 'Becoming a Man' is not just a tool for learning; it's also a group of people supporting each other. Everyone is on a journey to become better and discover who they really are.
