Standing on the Shoulders of Giants: A Father’s Day Tribute to My Mentors
Our society today faces a critical challenge: an alarming number of children are growing up without the steady presence of a father figure. According to a report by the U.S. Census Bureau, as of 2020, more than 19.7 million children, more than 1 in 4, live without a father in their home.
Further studies reveal that the ramifications of this are far-reaching and deeply concerning. Children living in fatherless homes are almost four times more likely to be poor. Furthermore, children who experience father absence have a higher probability of having behavioral problems, as they are two times more likely to suffer from infant mortality, more prone to crime, and two times more likely to drop out of high school.
The correlation between fatherless homes and incarceration rates is also stark. As per a report from the Department of Justice, children from fatherless homes account for 63% of youth suicides, 85% of all children with behavior disorders, and 70% of juveniles in state-operated institutions.
As we approach Father’s Day, these unsettling statistics underscore a stark reality that many children confront daily. This crisis of fatherhood is not just a personal tragedy; it’s a societal one. However, amidst this disquieting backdrop, my heart is filled with hope, gratitude, and inspiration – feelings I owe to the influential men who have guided my journey into fatherhood.
My son Daniel, at just 17 months old, has swiftly become the heartbeat of my life. His arrival marked the beginning of a journey that I’ve been longing for, and now with the impending arrival of my second son, the joy of fatherhood has multiplied. I became a father later in life, just 10 days shy of my 40th birthday, but this role that I’ve stepped into has been a dream for as long as I can remember.
You see, this aspiration traces back to my own childhood. My brothers and I used to play pretend, role-playing as fathers to our teddy bears. Sure, they’d probably give me an earful for revealing our childhood secrets – that these tough guys once nurtured stuffed toys with a father’s care. But those were the seeds of the dream that blossomed into reality, the early inklings of the fathers we would become.
Today, I want to honor three men who have profoundly influenced my journey: my Dad, my Grandpa Dean, and my father-in-law, Ibim. Each of them have left indelible imprints on my heart and my life.
My Dad, despite having grown up fatherless, emerged as an exceptional father figure for me, my brothers, and countless foster children. Over a span of a decade, he and my mom ensured that every child they fostered found a loving, forever home. My Dad’s dream was to be a father to 100 children. By the measure of impact, I firmly believe he has surpassed that dream many times over.
In his quest to be an exceptional father, my Dad ventured into unknown territories. Without a father of his own, he often confessed his uncertainties and fears about fatherhood. Yet, he had a fiery determination to break the mold and a strong desire to be the best dad he could be. He was never shy about seeking help and counsel from other men who could guide him along this path.
Among his mentors were several men from the church, such as Pastor Larry, Pastor Danny, Mike Corlis, Nolan Peebles, and many others. Each played a significant role in shaping my father’s parenting journey. But it was my maternal grandfather, Dean Personett, whose influence was particularly profound.
Grandpa Dean was more than just a grandfather to me; he was the guiding force for my dad. He was always there, ready to lend an ear, to offer sage advice, or to just share a word of encouragement. He provided the experienced wisdom and moral support that my dad desperately needed in his quest to be a better father.
From teaching him the practicalities of parenthood to imparting life wisdom, Grandpa Dean’s influence on my dad was immense. His patient guidance and unwavering support were instrumental in helping my dad navigate the complex world of fatherhood.
On this Father’s Day, I pay tribute to my grandpa, an unsung hero whose influence has shaped the man I am today. Without his guidance, my father, and in turn I, may not have had such a strong blueprint for fatherhood. So, here’s to the lessons learned, the wisdom shared, and the legacy that continues to live on.
Losing a parent at a young age is a devastating experience, one that my wife Nimi had to endure far too early. However, in the midst of this heartbreaking loss, a beacon of support emerged – her Uncle Ibim. Stepping in to fill the void left by her father, Ibim not only offered solace but became a pillar of strength in her life. He went above and beyond his duties as an uncle, eventually marrying Nimi’s mom and wholeheartedly embracing the responsibilities that came with it.
Ibim is a man of remarkable strength and resilience, always there for Nimi and our family, often placed in difficult positions but consistently rising to the occasion. His dedication to his role is unwavering, even in the face of challenges. This stoic commitment is etched in my memory, symbolized by his powerful proclamation at our wedding. When the pastor asked who gives away the bride, Ibim’s booming voice echoed through the church, his single-word response, “Me!”, a testament to his unwavering dedication.
Today, Ibim continues to play an invaluable role in our lives. His commitment extends to being a fantastic grandpa to our son Daniel. He’s not just a father figure, but an inspiration, a role model of steadfast devotion and unyielding commitment. On this Father’s Day, I honor Ibim for his impact on our family and his enduring legacy of steadfast love and care.
Fatherhood is a road I travel, but I’m not walking it alone. Right there beside me, every step of the way, is a solid band of brothers. They’re more than just friends and family – they’re my team. My brothers – Benjamin, Stephen, KB, Sam, Tyrell – are the core of this unit. While my brother Jachin is not a father he is a legendary uncle and has a great impact on me as a father.
We’re also strengthened by friends and mentors from church, men who’ve been through the same battles – Manny, Drew, Bryn, Ray, Johnny, Art, Richard, Kennan, Tito, Chris, Jonathon, Josh, my cousin Melvin and my Canadian bro Wayne. They’re seasoned veterans, and their experiences add to our combined strength.
Joining us on the frontlines are colleagues from work who have become more than just coworkers – they’ve become friends who I trust and respect deeply. Randall, Paul, and Jeremy aren’t just workmates; they’re dependable allies in this fatherhood journey.
Standing shoulder to shoulder with us are seasoned veterans of fatherhood – Pastor Aaron, Pastor Adam, John, Pastor Carl, Jim, Mike, Ed, Luis, and Morri. These men have long since graduated to the role of grandfathers. They’ve walked the path I’m on and have gained invaluable wisdom along the way. Each one is a cornerstone in the brotherhood of fatherhood I’m proud to be part of.
Their journeys, filled with their own trials and triumphs, serve as beacons for me as I navigate my own path. Each one is a shining example of the kind of father I aspire to be. Their collective experience and the wisdom they generously share are invaluable resources, helping shape the father I am and the one I’m still striving to become.
This fatherhood journey is not a solo mission. It’s a team sport. We share the rough tackles and the touchdowns, the hard days and the victories. These men are my squad, standing firm as I take on the highs and lows of being a dad. Because no man goes it alone, and in this brotherhood, I’ve found my fort.
Despite the scarcity of quality fathers in the world today, I am blessed to be surrounded by an extraordinary circle of them. They stand as my reminders, my inspiration, and my motivation. As we celebrate Father’s Day, let’s remember and honor all the fathers and father figures who continue to make a difference in their children’s lives, against all odds. Here’s to being the best fathers we can be. Happy Father’s Day.
In a world where strong father figures often seem scarce, I am grateful to stand amidst a band of them. They are not just figures in my life, but they are the lighthouses guiding my journey, the iron that sharpens my own resolve, the fuel that drives my determination to be the best father I can be.
As we observe Father’s Day, let’s extend our recognition to all those fathers and father figures who continue to shape and mold lives, standing firm in the face of life’s complexities. To those who continue to challenge the status quo, shattering expectations and creating legacies of love, strength, and resilience.
In their honor, and for the sake of our children and the generations to come, let’s commit to being the best fathers we can be. To embodying strength and kindness, courage and wisdom, love and integrity. To raising our children in an atmosphere of understanding, guiding them with wisdom born of experience, and loving them with a love that knows no bounds.
So, here’s to the fathers, the grandfathers, the father figures, and to all men who play a crucial role in a child’s life. This Father’s Day, we honor you, we thank you, and we strive to continue the noble task you’ve undertaken with such dignity. Here’s to being the best fathers we can be. Happy Father’s Day.
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