There are few roles in life as sacred as that of a father. A father is a protector, a provider, a man who carries the weight of his family’s well-being on his shoulders. That responsibility is built into the very fabric of manhood—deeply ingrained, both biologically and spiritually.

For Yarden Bibas, that sacred role was shattered in the most brutal way imaginable. On October 7, Hamas terrorists stormed into his home, abducting his wife, Shiri, and their two young sons, Ariel and Kfir. In his final moments with them, Yarden had a choice—to fight or to surrender. Shiri told him to fight. He fought. But despite his courage, he was overpowered, taken hostage, and later released—only to learn that his wife and children had been murdered in captivity.

At their funeral, standing before the graves of the people he loved most, Yarden spoke words no father should ever have to say:

“Ariel, I hope you’re not angry with me for failing to protect you properly.”

It is hard to comprehend the weight of those words. The grief of losing a child is already an unbearable pain, but to feel that you failed to protect them—that is a wound that cuts even deeper.

This is a father’s worst nightmare, and for men who understand the burden of responsibility, it is a tragedy that shakes us to our core. A man can endure a great deal of suffering, but the one thing he cannot bear is failing the people he was meant to protect.

The Weight of Responsibility

Every man, whether he realizes it or not, carries this instinct to protect. It’s what drives fathers to work long hours, to sacrifice their own comforts, to stand guard in the middle of the night when they hear an unfamiliar sound in the house. It’s what makes a man step in front of danger without a second thought if his family is at risk.

But what happens when that duty is taken away? What happens when a father does everything he can—when he fights, when he resists—and still, the unthinkable happens?

The truth is, there are times when the world is cruel, when evil wins a battle, and when no amount of strength or courage is enough to stop the horror from unfolding. And yet, men like Yarden are left with a guilt that they should never have to carry.

He fought. He tried. And still, he will wake up every day with the unbearable ache of what if?

The Unbreakable Bond Between Father and Child

Even in the depths of his grief, Yarden spoke about his boys not as lost souls, but as children who still live on in his heart.

“I hope you’re making all the angels laugh with your silly jokes and impressions. I hope there are plenty of butterflies for you to watch, just like you did during our picnics.”

There’s something deeply powerful in the way he speaks to Ariel and Kfir, as if they are still listening. Because for a father, his children are never truly gone.

That bond is eternal. It’s why fathers still hear their children’s laughter long after they’ve grown. It’s why a man will still instinctively reach for his son’s hand, even when that child is no longer a boy, but a man himself. It’s why, even in the darkest moments, Yarden still calls out to them, because in his heart, they are still with him.

What It Means to Be a Protector

At Becoming a Man, we talk about responsibility, leadership, and the role of men as protectors. Yarden’s story forces us to confront the painful reality that sometimes, despite our greatest efforts, we cannot always protect the people we love.

So what do we do with that truth?

We do what Yarden is doing—we keep fighting. We stand strong. We hold our loved ones close. We never stop being protectors, even when the world tells us we’ve failed.

Because manhood is not just about physical strength or standing guard—it’s about love, about sacrifice, about carrying the weight of responsibility even when it feels unbearable.

Yarden Bibas fought for his family. And now, he fights to keep their memory alive. That is the heart of a father. That is the heart of a man.

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